I Hate New Year’s Resolutions

They’re like diets and budgets. The second I resolve to eat or spend less, I sneak behind my better self and scarf a chocolate or buy yet another book on Amazon.

I’ve got a refrigerator stuffed with a drying turkey carcass and leftover carbs, a 2-foot pile of papers stashed in the closet of my study, and a car that hasn’t been run through the carwash in a month. It’s time to for teeth cleaning, a skin check, and mamotorture.

It’s time for making a list. Not a “to do” list. An Awareness List. A list of everything unfinished, hanging over my head, bugging me. They are what Coach U calls “tolerations.”

The list inspires a process. Here’s what I wrote in Men Are Easy about the benefits of the list:

1. You become more aware of and present with your possessions and your life. When you get it on a piece of paper, it’s real. It becomes something concrete to deal with.

2. When the list is rolling around in your head, it takes up too much “brain RAM.” Getting it down on paper gives you more brain space.

3. Even if you put the list away into a drawer and never look at it again, you find yourself naturally clearing things off the list.

4. As you clear each small thing, you free yourself and you are inspired to do more. Clearing the list feels good. Donating to the thrift shop and holding a garage sale simplifies life. Having less to clean, store, and deal with feels good.

5. As you become more aware of what you are tolerating in your life, you find that just turning on the TV to escape doesn’t work. Instead, you find yourself folding laundry, clearing off bookshelves, sewing on a button, and feeling good about all of it.

6. With more brain space, the big things on the list don’t seem so big any more.

7. You become more aware of what’s coming in to your life and you take care of it before it goes on the list.

8. You find that you have a relationship with everything. Not just with people, but with your bed, your food, your kitchen, your sofa cushions, your shoes, your files, on and on. You’re less needy.

9. You may not be able to do anything about the traffic or your partner’s annoying quirks, but as you take care of the other items, then the few you can’t control will be no big deal.

10. It’s a whole lot easier than the alternatives.

The idea is to stop whipping yourself to do anything. If it’s not easy, it’s not right. This is how to start the flow.

Now it’s time for me to follow my own advice.