Keep the Honeymoon Going
By Lynn Rasmussen in About Men/Women, Relationships & Marriage | Comments (0)
Living in Hawaii, I see vacationing (read: honeymooning) couples all the time — at the beach, the drugstore, restaurants. While it used to surprise me, I’m now accustomed to seeing the same scenes play out over and over. Like this one:
In the K-Mart check-out line, I see a 20-something tourist, undoubtedly a bride, nagging at her husband. She was on task, a basket of last-minute gifts for friends and family back home on her arm. They were a block from the airport. She was stressing. He was spaced out.
Under her breath, a woman next to me quipped, “Guess the honeymoon’s over.”
It’s scenes like this one that inspired me to write Men Are Easy… As I watched the young woman rush out the door with her husband in tow, I wanted to say:
The more irritated you get, the more distracted he’ll get.
Guys shut down when you get emotionally negative. They can’t help it. Under stress, women want to bond and help, but men are built to fight or fly. A man tends to escape into his cave. You’re not going to get what you need if he’s in hiding.
Lighten up.
Take a cue from how guys talk to each other. They joke around about the most serious subjects. They keep it simple. If you lighten up, he may hear what you are saying and see how lame he’s being — and you didn’t even have to try!
Get proactive.
Talk out a plan before you go anywhere, particularly when in a time crunch. It will help focus both of you and maybe even keep him out of the electronics department.
Eat.
Those honeymooners probably just needed lunch. I hope that she grabbed some cashews on her way out. Low blood sugar after the last beach swim, packing, and driving to the airport will make any loving couple look like they’re on the road to divorce.
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